A chill blew across my chest as I lay on the doctor’s table. I pulled my open front gown closed in a pathetic attempt to warm myself. In a weird way, the cold was comforting. Between the summer temps and…
These are my confessions. I would appreciate it if you refrained from judging me. We all have personal struggles. I’ve just chosen to live my aloud. I’ve never been a jealous person. As a child, there was really nothing for…
“You shouldn’t have to create a space for yourself in someone’s life. If they want you there, they will make room.” This was a “homemade quote” shared by Erin Harper on Facebook this morning. On a news feed filled with…
I would consider myself to be pretty committed to my faith. I try really hard to always stay connected to God and His will for my life. I understand that it is my responsibility to play my part in God’s Kingdom. I…
I refuse to watch shows like Hoarders…because deep down I’m afraid watching that show will confirm my deepest fear: that I am a hoarder. 🙁 However, I may have confirmed that fear myself when I decided to clean out my closet during my surprise snow break two weeks ago. Let’s just say as I was cleaning out my closet, I ran across more Tommy Hilfiger and outdated Polo than I ever care to share. I found clothes that I hadn’t worn in years. Clothes that dated back to college…even high school. Clothes I knew I would never wear again. I was flabbergasted by the fact I was holding on to all these items. After about five minutes of cleaning out my closet, I found myself asking, “Why the heck am I keeping all this crap?”
As I was going through the process, I discovered there were four reasons why I was holding on to all these clothes I hadn’t worn in up to 10 years.
In one week I will turn 29 years old. As I approach the last year of my 20s, I’ve become reflective of where I actually am in my life and where I thought I would be by now when I graduated from high school 10 years ago.
Ten years ago, I expected to have a similar life to my parents. By the time they’d reached my age they were married with two kids and both were established in their careers. Me…not so much. Yes, I have a home…and one kid. But that one is far from the five (four boys and one girl) I dreamed of having, and let’s be real, I don’t have much time left to pop out four more kids o_O! On top of that I don’t even have ANY marriage prospects, and I’m seriously considering yet another career change. Looking at me from my 18 year old mind 10 years ago, I would be considered an utter failure. Fortunately, I’m able to understand the truth about my situation.
Oddly enough, this has been my most difficult letter yet. I had a wonderful childhood; however, I don’t really have one memorable person from my childhood. So I guess I will write this letter to all the people who made a difference in my childhood.
Over the past three months, I’ve witnessed the public downfall of a lot of people I respect. I’ve watched the media scrutinize, the blogs sensationalize, and the public crucify these people, some based on hard evidence…others based on simple accusations. I’ve sat back in awe because just months…weeks…even days earlier, the same media, blogs, and people were singing praises and embracing these individuals for all of the great works they were doing for others. I would find it hard to believe how quickly people who once cheered for you can began disgracing you if I hadn’t gone through a similar situation recently myself.
It seems like just yesterday we were running the dusty streets of Sfax–drinking coffee, eating tuna, and smoking hookah, wading on the beautiful beaches, and enjoying the cool desert nights. My time in Tunisia was life changing to say the least. I was able to learn so much about you and your culture and experienced amazing adventures that I never could’ve imagined in my wildest dreams.
It’s funny that the person I miss the most, is someone I’ve never really known: my true companion. I’m usually pretty good at this whole single living thing, but yesterday, at church, I realized how much I really miss you.
If you were any other man, I’m sure you would be tired of my letters, but because You are You, I’m sure that You’re enjoying them, and most importantly, enjoying seeing my growth and ability to self-reflect through them.
I spent the past 4 hours writing a blog on the people I wish I could forgive/have forgiven only to realize this letter wasn’t about my hurt feelings and bruised ego. This letter in fact was about the feelings that I’ve hurt and the egos that I’ve bruised. And while there are plenty of people walking the earth who forgiveness I desire, Your forgiveness is the one I aspire to receive the most.
This letter is an apostrophe (literary term, not grammar). Google it! And blame the English teacher in me! 😉
The love and loyalty I gave to you was unbreakable. I sacrificed so much to ensure you were well, safe, secure, and great! At the end of the day, all that I gave wasn’t enough.