When I first saw the graphic for Ray J’s new single, I thought it was a joke. Let’s be honest, most of you have too much free time, so I assumed someone had spent an hour of their life playing on Photoshop. And then the SoundCloud link popped up on my Twitter timeline. Against my better judgment, I clicked it. Immediately three words came to mind: childish, petty, and unnecessary. It actually reminded me of the time my friends and I decided to send some girl a singing telegram of MoKenStef’s “He’s Mine” (enjoy the video below). The difference is we were 16 year old idiots and Ray J is a grown man.


She might move on to rappers and ballplayers
But we all know I hit it first…
I had her head going north and her ass going south
But now baby chose to go West…
And I gave her that really bomb sex
No matter where she goes or who she knows
She still belongs in my bed…
And if you would come back to me
Girl, I’ll get it wet — jacuzzi
And if you would come back to me girl
We’ll make another movie


In addition to being Drake’s “Marvin’s Room” over a catchy “Sexy Can I” beat, “I Hit It First” is a desperate attempt of an irrelevant douche bag striving to regain significance by reliving his one and only accomplishment: producing a homemade sex tape with America’s favorite sex kitten, a tape that catapulted her to superstardom while he remains the irrelevant, overcompensating little brother of your favorite 90s teen singer (#SHADE).

As I stared at my computer with the most confused and dumbfounded expression known to man plastered across my face, I realized why I was so annoyed. Ray J was attempting to regain pop culture relevance by shaming Kim Kardashian, a woman he was in a relationship with for years. He didn’t just set out to brag about sleeping with her; he wanted to publicly humiliate her while taunting the man she’s now in a relationship with all in the name of publicity and a quick buck.

According to a Huffington Post article on Ray J’s tell-all book, Death of a Cheating Man: What Every Woman Must Know About Men Who Stray: “[S]ince she cheated on her husband with him, he never trusted her. ‘I had no respect for her,’ he writes.” That’s evident from the song’s lyrics. Ray J speaks of Kim as a sexual object, not a person he was in a long-term relationship with. By using the phrase “I hit it,” popularized in the 90s by your favorite off-beat rapper, Silkk the Shocker’sLet Me Hit It,” Ray J acknowledges that Kim is nothing more than pussy (I hate that word) to him. In his mind she doesn’t deserve the common decency of being treated with respect. She’s simply an object used for his sexual gratification, an object he feels he has thrust into superstardom, even though he failed to thrust himself there (#SHADE).

While listening to morning radio today, I heard that this song has infuriated Kanye West; however, he won’t  respond because that’s exactly what Ray J wants him to do. How ironic that the one time I want Kanye to act like an adolescent boy for my entertainment purposes, he decides to act like a grown up. BOOOOOOO! I guess I should be proud. *shrugs* In reality though, I believe Kanye is more upset about Ray J stepping on his pride and pissing on his property (Kim being said property) than he is upset about his love being publicly disrespected. I mean ‘Ye has treated Kim more like a Barbie doll he could dress in his horrendous fashions than he has a woman he loves and respects. It was less than a year that he rapped, “My girl a superstar all from a home movie.” So if ‘Ye can brag about Kim Kardashian Superstar, why can’t Ray J? I mean Ray J actually starred in the flick.

I learned from The Bert Show this morning that “all” men have a “yeah, I hit that first” moment when they cross the path of their ex with her new man. Sigh. Okay, we know most of you still have some dormant caveman qualities, so we’ll let you have that moment. Plus, like Ray J, your ex is probably the last notable bullet on your resume, so why not relive that moment (#SHADE). Let’s just make sure you relive that moment privately…because when you go public with it you just sound childish, bitter and pathetic.

This should be a lesson to us all. We must choose carefully who we are intimate with…because douche bags don’t mind using your vulnerabilities against you, especially if they can profit from it. And, yes, I acknowledge that Kim isn’t the most innocent victim. She has profited well from her sex tape with Ray J. With that said, a woman should be able to be intimate with a man, especially one she was in a long-term relationship with, without him publicly shaming her. Character speaks volumes. We always say we didn’t see it coming, but folks show us who they are long before they burn and shame us. Let’s take the time to learn the character of an individual before we allow them access to our most intimate moments. It would save us all a lot of heartache and heartbreak.

And let me end this post by saying this. In addition to being an immature, certified douchebag, Ray J also knows little to nothing about sex. In the words of Mrs. Phaedra Parks, everybody knows her head should go south and her ass go north. Get your life, Ray J (#SHADE).


25 Break-up Songs Better Than “I Hit It First” (in no particular order):

1) “Use to Be My Girl” — The O’Jays

2) “Cry Me a River” — Justin Timberlake

3) “Hope She Cheats On You (With a Basketball Player)” — Marsha Ambrosius

4) “Deuces” — Chris Brown featuring Tyga & Kevin McCall

5) “Deuces (remix)” –Chris Brown featuring Drake, T.I. Kanye West, Fabolous, & Andree 3000

6) “M.I.A.”– Omarian featuring Wale

7) “I Should Have Cheated” — Keyshia Cole

8) I Should’ve Cheated On You — Mike Posner

9) “Resentment” — Beyoncé

10) “Not Gon’ Cry” — Mary J. Blige

11) “4am” — Melanie Fiona

12) “Fumble” — Trey Songz

13) “Un-Break My Heart” — Toni Braxton

14) “Don’t Say Sorry” — K. Michelle

15) “Irreplaceable” — Beyoncé

16) “Pretty Girls Lie” — Trey Songz

17) “I Wish” — Carl Thomas

18) “Set Fire to the Rain” — Adele

19) “I Need a Girl (Part 1)” — P. Diddy featuring Usher and Loon

20) “I Need a Girl (Part 2)” — P. Diddy featuring Ginuwine, Loon, and Mario Winans

21) “I’m Goin’ Down” — Mary J. Blige

22) “Silly” — Deniece Williams

23) “Seether” — Broken featuring Amy Lee

24) “Friends in Low Places” — Garth Brooks

25) “Last Night” — Justin Timberlake


Click through to see all the videos.

Enjoy MoKenStef’s “He’s Mine.”