Separation. It’s a word that should be respected. We’ve all seen what happens when we disrespect the marriage that accompanies the separation. Jack Bauer had an affair with Nina while he was separated from Teri. And once he decided to go back to Teri, Nina went psycho, partnered with a foreign terrorist cell, kidnapped Jack’s daughter Kim, killed his wife Teri, and attempted to assassinate Senator Palmer as he ran for president. Okay, that’s the plot from the first season of 24, but the message still reigns true. Separations don’t equal divorce, and beginning a new relationship during a separation will definitely be messy. Someone always gets hurt unnecessarily.
I have a strict rule. I don’t date married men. I don’t care of you’re separated. I don’t care if she’s shacked up with a new dude and has five kids who aren’t yours. I don’t care if she’s prolonging the divorce or if you’re in the middle of the process and the divorce will be final any day. None of these scenarios change the fact that you are still married, and being involved with a married man is something I just won’t do.
To be fair, I’ve never been placed in this situation. I mean if sexy as hell T.I. came to me and said he and Tiny were separated and she had a new reality with her boo, Trinidad Jame$, and their three kids, I’m not going to lie. It would be hard for me to resist comforting him in my bosom [insert slick smile]. However, I would hope I would be strong enough to. I would hope he would respect her enough to officially end what they had before moving on with his life. I would want him to respect me enough to end his marriage and NOT make me the other woman. And I would need him to love himself enough to heal from the hurt and pain of the relationship that was ending and not bring that hurt, pain, and distrust into our relationship. Moving into a new relationships before you have closure of a past relationship means a lot of the baggage from the first relationship will enter into the new relationships, and no one wants that.
Hearing that Kim’s egg entered a permanent union with Kanye’s sperm was amusing to say the least. Black Twitter was on 10 with jokes, baby names, and of course the internet memes. But then someone posed a question that made me think. “Wait…isn’t Kim still married?”
Whoa! I had completely forgotten about that. Technically, Kanye has been dating and proceeded to knock up Mrs. Humphries. Kim and Kanye now find themselves in an odd predicament. Imagine going to your divorce proceedings while five months pregnant by the next dude. Awkward! Or the moment baby KimYe reads her mom’s Wikipedia page and actually does the math. That’ll be an interesting conversation. How much simpler would life had been if Kim and Kanye simply waited until the ink dried on those papers?
There’s a lesson to be learned from Kim and Kanye. That lesson: it’s good to have standards that you stick to, no matter what the circumstances are. Many things in life are grey, but some things in life are simply black and white. Those things are black and white for a reason, to keep your emotions from complicating your life. Dating a married man is black and white to me. It just won’t happen. So, T.I., know this. If Tiny ever breaks your heart and you need to find comfort in my bosom, please make sure the divorce papers are signed first. If not, I’m going to have to turn you down. And neither of us want that, right? 🙂
Enjoy US News’ “The Winners and Losers of the Kim Kardashian-Kanye West Pregnancy” here.