Kim K Taught Me: Three Relationship Lessons Learned During the 2012 BET Awards

The BET Awards aired last night, and while there was plenty of chatter about the presenters, performers and nominees, one of the most talked about individuals in attendance fell into neither of these categories. Ding, Ding, Ding! You guessed it: Kim Kardashian. Seated front row, center with her latest boo thang, Kanye West, and his BFFs Jay-Z and Beyonce, Kim found herself one of the most talked about topics of the 2012 BET Awards.

Personally, I am neither a Kim K fan or hater. I throw shade and admiration Kim’s way equally at various times and on different occasions (although lately I have tossed more shade than admiration). As I watched last night, I studied Kim in hopes that I could learn something from her, and I walked away with three lessons that can help any relationship.

Disclaimer: Before you hit me with the “you’re a sexist” rants, understand that this is unisexual advice. Simply replace the female nouns and pronouns with male nouns and pronouns and vice versa. Got it?  Good!

1) Learn to be the plus one. Whether you are the “relationship’s star” or not, it is imperative that you learn to be your partner’s plus one/arm piece. Everything is not about you. At some point, it’s going to be your significant other’s time to shine. Don’t try to be a part. Don’t attempt to draw attention to yourself. And don’t throw yourself in front of the camera. Just sit back, applaud and glow with delight. That’s what Solange did when her boo won his award for directing Beyonce’s video. And in return, he gave her one of the best shout outs of the night. It appears that Beyonce and Jay-Z have also mastered this concept in their relationship. When Jay is in the spotlight, Bey smiles, glows and becomes his biggest fan, and when it’s Beyonce turns, Jay’s face lights up and he becomes the proudest man in the room. It’s not always about you. So know how to bow out the spotlight when need be.

2) Be comfortable with your man’s friends and the places he takes you. One thing that shocked me last night was the level of discomfort Kim seemed to exude. She looked extremely tense, overly formal and completely out of place. Scared even. And not just with her environment. There didn’t seem to be a lot of warm love and reception between Kim and the Carters. Let’s deal with real. When you enter a new relationship or are meeting friends and family for the first time, you may catch some side eyes as they try to figure you out. It’s your job to make the best of the situation. Relax, be natural, and just let things flow. And if you’re truly uncomfortable around certain people or in specific places, have a talk with your man. He will either figure out a way to  accommodate you or stop putting you in these predicaments. Either way, you’ll be better off.

3) Be authentic. At the end of the day, all you can be is you. We all have to learn to love and embrace who we are. If you can’t love and accept you, how do you really expect someone else to return love and acceptance? Don’t be a chameleon. Switching personalities to fit certain crowds isn’t healthy nor genuine. Be unapologetically you!

And with that, enjoy Willow Smith’s “I Am Me.”

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