Music is the soundtrack to our lives. Somehow lyrics have the ability capture the essence of what we desire to say even when we can’t formulate the words and phrases ourselves. Often, if you can relate to a song, it’s because you are experiencing or have experienced similar elements of the song in your own life.

Recently, a few of my Twitter followers began discussing the “bad relationship music” of a particular R&B artist. This got me thinking about other songs that scream unhealthy relationships. Below you will find a short list. I’m sure we could do this for days; however, if you find yourself relating to these songs, you might want to concoct an exit strategy because your boo is not the type you want to marry.


Melanie Fiona’s “It Kills Me”
Strike 1: “Problems when you don’t come home at night.” Ummm, why is my man not coming home at night? Accident? Emergency? Is he dead? Because those are the only acceptable reasons for you not to show up. If you don’t come home at night, you forfeit the right to be my man.

Strike 2: “When you do, you always start a fight.” Attention, ladies!!! If your man is picking fights for no reason, he’s looking for a way out. He doesn’t really want to be with you. Just let him go.

Strike 3: “But I can’t be alone.” This line used to be me, and it SCREAMS insecurity! Ladies, if you feel like you can’t be alone, take this advice: be alone. It’s the ONLY cure, and you will be a better woman because of it.

Well, Dang!: “I know you’re messing around, but who the hell else is gonna hold me down.” Dang, Melanie! As if three strikes weren’t enough. For those who doubted she was insecure by strike three, does this evidence prove otherwise? Having a piece of a man is not better than having no man at all. Stop settling for less than you deserve.



Monica’s “Sideline Ho”
Y’all know I love Monica; however, if you ever find yourself singing “Youse a ho…sideline ho,” your relationship isn’t working out. I’m just saying. The issue is NOT whether he answered the phone when she called or if she’s meet mom dukes and the kids. THE ISSUE IS HE HAS A HO ON THE SIDE, MA’AM!!! Sorry, I got a little upset. Let’s stop confronting the sideline hoes and started dealing with the ho we are loving, ok?



Shirley Brown’s “Woman to Woman”
I respect Shirley’s attempt to handle this situation in a mature manner; however, she’s buying this man’s clothes and cars out of love, and he has another heffa calling the house!!! Oh, hell nawl! This screams desperation. I don’t care “how much [she] love[s] that man.” I need for Shirley to find her self-esteem.



Mary J. Blige’s “Mr. Wrong”
I get it. Bad boys are exciting, a thrill ride, even fun. But that mess ain’t cute when the police are knocking at your door. Trust me, 30 year old ride or die girlfriends are not cute. They look stupid. And there isn’t any sex worth staying in an abusive (physical, emotional, or otherwise) relationship. So let’s refrain from dating Mr. Wrong and simply teach the good guys how to pull our hair.



TLC’s “Creep”
So you respond to your boo’s cheating and neglect by creeping? See, that’s how AIDS spreads! Let’s do better people!



Look, ladies. I’m not judging. I’ve been most, if not all, of these women at some point in my life. That’s how I know it’s possible to walk away, survive, and thrive. You are worth the best. Stop settling for less than.