Seeing marriages in trouble always tugs at my heart. Whether it’s family and friends or the rumored celebrity breakups of Will and Jada or Ashton and Demi, it upsets me to see people who promised forever to each other walk away bruised, broken and wounded. While my heart breaks each time, I’ve come to realize that many of my peers are numb to divorce. With 40 to 50% of American marriages ending in divorce (Forbes), my peers have come to expect and passively accept divorce as a norm.

“I say it in jest but real talk society has continuously proven that we off that marriage stuff in 2011,” @blarkin tweeted after I twitter whined about how Ashton and Demi’s “marital problems” were bruising my dreams of a cougar marriage. Reading @blarkin’s tweet was a blow to my gut. Not just because it contradicted my beliefs, but because there was so much evidence supporting his statement.

As far back as five years ago, a group of black 12-year-olds declared that “marriage is for white people” (Washington Post). A quick conversation with young adults illustrates that many see marriage as a burden or too restrictive and have no desire to consider it. In addition, married people themselves seem to thoughtlessly reject their love, vows and commitments to enjoy the lustful desires of their loins. So could it be true? Has American society outgrown the institution of marriage? Are its days numbered? Is marriage becoming irrelevant to our lives? Are we “off that”?

As much evidence as there is, I refuse to accept this as my truth. I don’t believe the institution of marriage is broken. I do, however, believe that people and how they “do” marriage is broken. As someone who desires to experience marriage in the “til death do us part” sense of the tradition, it has become imperative that I research and discover the correct way to “do” marriage so that me and my boo-thang don’t become a part of the ever increasing statistics. Like I do with most of my journeys, I’m going to share this one with you through weekly blog post entitled “Marriage Mondays.”

“Marriage Mondays” will be a journey to my truths about marriage. And while you may not agree with every view I have or every word I write, I hope that you do read, ponder and post feedback. I really want this to be an open forum where everyone’s thoughts, ideas and beliefs are considered and discussed.

With that said, let’s go back to @blarkin’s tweet and the questions posed earlier. Has our society outgrown the institution of marriage? Are its days numbered? Is marriage becoming irrelevant to our lives? Are we “off that”? Share your answers in the comment section below. And I will see you next Monday. Same place. Same time.

Love y’all,

 

Kia Speaks