Another Monday night means another episode of VH1’s Single Ladies, but honestly, I’m still pondering an issue from last week’s episode.
Val and April are friends. But April has been cheating on her husband, Darryl, with the mayor. Val knew about the affair, told April she was wrong, but never passed any information on to Darryl, who we find out has been Val’s friend longer than April has. Val and Darryl go back to college. He’s stood by her side through bad relationships and break ups, yet when Darryl needed Val the most, she failed him.
Being friends with two people in a relationship is hard enough, but what is the appropriate thing to do when one friend is cheating on the other? Revealing infidelity comes with a number of questions: 1) How will your friends react? 2) Can the relationship be savaged without the infidelity coming to the surface? 3) Will the relationship be damaged more by revealing the infidelity? 4) Is it my place to get involved?
I’m a firm believer that relationships perverted by lies, infidelity and manipulation never thrive. But what I’m unsure of is when to inject myself in other people’s relationships and when to allow relationships to naturally run their course.
If I’m honest with myself, had I been in Val’s shoes, I wouldn’t have revealed April’s infidelity to Darryl either. I would have firmly told April what she was doing was wrong, that she need to stop immediately, and made it clear that I would have absolutely no parts in this at all. I wouldn’t have been as passive about the wrongdoings committed, and I definitely wouldn’t have allowed myself to become a part of the mess by lying and participating in the cover up. But I don’t think I would’ve told. Becoming involved in other people’s mess has ALWAYS made me extremely uncomfortable. But by distancing myself from it, am I still violating the loyalty of my friend? What is the right thing to do?