There’s this guy at work who’s always flirting with me. I don’t really pay the flirting much attention, but he carries on decent conversation, so we chop it up quite often in the hallway.

The other day while we were talking he looked at me and said, “You’re spoiled. Aren’t you?” I thought about it for a moment. Growing up I never thought I was spoiled, but my classmates had often told me I was. Ironically, that hasn’t been reflected in my past relationship. I’ve never had a man even remotely attempt to spoil me, so my answer was easy.

“No. Not at all.”

His follow up questions was, “But you want to be?”

“Hell, yeah!” I said without a second thought. “And I deserve to be! I’ve busted my tail doing it all for the past 10 years. I want a man to be MAN! Take care of me! Be the head of the household! I don’t mind working, but I want my money to be our play money. I deserve that, right?”

He nodded yes.

Throughout college my girls and I were all on this independent woman stuff. And after we graduated, we all worked hard to establish ourselves in our careers and prove that we could make it on our own. And we all have proven just that. But now that we are all invading 30 I’m noticing that more and more of us could care less about being labeled independent. A whole lot of us wouldn’t mind being housewives and stay at home moms. The bravado that we once used to establish our independence with has subtlety ceased. And we desire to have the men in our lives spoil us.

And it’s not because we are lazy, gold-diggers, or incompetent. It’s just that we have figured out who we really are. We now know our true worth, and we are aware that any man who enters our space must recognize that worth and act accordingly.

I think we’ve ran the course. We—the smart, bright, and intelligent—have gone into the world and conquered territory, and now we want to settle down with a man who’s conquering while we do our thing (whether it be taking care of home, working, etc.).

I also think it’s natural for a man to desire to give his woman the best that he can, and I’m not just talking financially. Spoil her with compliments, favors, love letters and sweet nothings. Go out of your way to make your woman feel like a queen.

I say all of this for the record. My next man should be very aware that I am waiting and expecting to be spoiled. Nothing less than will be accepted. And if I’m happy, I promise you’ll be happy too, boo! 🙂