In one week I will turn 29 years old. As I approach the last year of my 20s, I’ve become reflective of where I actually am in my life and where I thought I would be by now when I graduated from high school 10 years ago.
Ten years ago, I expected to have a similar life to my parents. By the time they’d reached my age they were married with two kids and both were established in their careers. Me…not so much. Yes, I have a home…and one kid. But that one is far from the five (four boys and one girl) I dreamed of having, and let’s be real, I don’t have much time left to pop out four more kids o_O! On top of that I don’t even have ANY marriage prospects, and I’m seriously considering yet another career change. Looking at me from my 18 year old mind 10 years ago, I would be considered an utter failure. Fortunately, I’m able to understand the truth about my situation.
I may not have everything I thought I would at 18, but honestly, I have more than I ever could’ve imagined. Biologically, I’m lacking about 4 kids, but in reality, I have an overflow of kids. Over the past 2 ½ years of teaching, I have collected a number of kids. I’m talking 20+. I get the pleasure of doing it all with/for these kids. From attending ball games and sending up prayers to handing out lunch money and taking late night phone calls when mom, teachers, and principals “aren’t acting right”. It’s been a humbling experience to have some many kids trust and rely me and my advice. It’s also been pretty cool seeing how they have my back when things get tough. I love these kids like a birthed them into the world, and while I still want my other 3 boys and 1 girls, if God never blesses me with them I’ll be fine because He’s already given me more than I ever could’ve dreamed of. And I’m holding yall kids to all the promises of houses, cars, etc. :-).
As far as the hubby goes, I THANK GOD that I’m still single. I honestly think my life would be miserable if I had married any of the guys I was dating over the past 10 years. In fact, last night I dreamed I was engaged to one of them, and it made my stomach turn. Don’t get me wrong, these weren’t bad guys. But none of them gave me what I needed to be great. And the person I am not, I wasn’t then. And while all married people grow and develop, and I’m not sure we would’ve have grown and developed in the same direction. Hopefully, I will marry one day soon, and I’m extremely thankful that I have a better set of expectations for the man who will have the pleasure of calling me wife.
Finally the job. One thing I’ve learned about my generation is we care a lot more about serving a purpose than working a job. I love teaching and shaping minds, but working for a school board is no longer my purpose. I loved writing and PR (the job I had before) as well, so I’ve decided I want it all. I’m tired of people giving me a job description and wanting me to fulfill it…especially when I think half the crap it includes is stupid, pointless, and a waste of my life. I firmly believe in creating the life you want to live…and that includes the job you want to work as well. I want to shape minds, write and do a little PR & event planning on the side. And I kind of miss working at home in my pajamas. So since my dream job doesn’t exist, I’m going to spend my spare time creating it. I know it’ll work. I’ve already seen it. I just have to bring it to fruition. And I am committed to spend every bit of my spare time making my dream job, that serves His purpose, come true.
I say all of this to say, don’t get discouraged when where you are isn’t where you thought you’d be. I know that I am exactly where God wants me, and I trust that you are too. God’s plans are not ours; in fact His are far greater than ours and serve a much bigger purpose. I haven’t always like the road map to get to God’s destination, but I already know the destination is so awesome, I won’t even complain about the journey once I get there. Love where you are, and do what you have to get where you would like to be.